Sunday, December 27, 2020

Work, Worry, Rest--Another Year

 

Desiring God: All You Need For Another Year

 

This one was actually for New Year's, but I found it incredibly applicable to a new school year! But now it's good for a new year again. Time flies.

 *******

The theme was based around the 2 Corinthians 9 passages about reaping and sowing. "Whoever sows sparingly will reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will reap generously," then it asked, "How will you sow?" What will we do this new year to prepare us for future gains and glory? But whose glory? When we work for God's glory, surely we gain more than when we work for ourselves. The section reminded that God loves a cheerful giver (2 Cor 9:7), giving is better than receiving (Acts 20:35), and that earthy treasures are easily destroyed and lost (Matthew 6:19-20)

 

Probably my favorite passage of the whole thing was an incredible reminder that no matter what situation we are in day to day, God will give us what we need to make it through and do His will. "God is able to make all grace abound to you so that in all things, at all times, having all you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Cor 9:8

There's always a way, always something there, we are often just too caught up in our own plight and pressure that we don't look for or recognize them. We don't have to do it all--we can't. But that is what points us to God where He fills in our gaps. He supplies all our needs according to His plan (Phil 4:19).

 

Faith ---> Provision ---> Opportunity.

When we have faith, He provides, and we have opportunities for all kinds of good works. Big or small, they all matter.






Sunday, November 29, 2020

Work, Worry, Rest--Weary Women in a World of Opportunity

 

 


For Weary Women in a World of Opporutnity 
--Desiring God, March 2020

Being a college/grad student with a double major in Communications and Sports, Outdoor Recreation, and Tourism, pursuing an MBA, and NCAA athletic experience may seem like the most wonderful way to have endless doors open--which it is--I feel this message on a very personal and timely level. Don't get me wrong, I love the areas I am qualified in and feel so called to continue using them to share God's power with others in daily life, but when people ask me what I want to do when I graduate, I never have a good answer. I am always working on stuff, always seeing things I would love to do, but there is no clear path right now. Opportunity is wonderful, but it can also be very nerve-wracking.

 

Think of how much greater our opportunities as women today are (and ever-expanding) compared to our grandparents and even parents. What a time to be a woman! Yet, we are still so often depressed, stressed, and not living the lives we dreamed of as little girls. We display a good life on the outside--matching outfits, decorations, being in nature, pets, family and friends, fancy coffee, you know...but really, we're exhausted. (That's me, too!! Not going to hide it!)

 

Culture's messages to empower women are great in theory--You go girl! You can do it all! Boss Babe mentality. Get that perfect man! You don't need no man! (wait what?) Often, we take it too far. We do try to do it, go us, but we try more than we trust. More personal strength than powerful spirit. Then we crash. Girl power can only get you so far. Girls also tend to have mental breakdowns, as I can attest. 

By all means feel empowered! Believe in yourself! But we should be believing in ourselves because God is within us. "God is within her; she will not fall. God will help her at the break of day." Psalm 46:5. Culture also says that "You are enough," but as a Christian, on our own, we aren't enough. 

 

When we put our identity in that life we display, we crash when it fails. And it will at times. But God never will. However, when we are downcast, it draws us to look up. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Put your hope in God. For I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5. The only way to find true, lasting joy and satisfaction in life is to turn your heart away from your selfish pursuits and to God. If I let my ambitions to have a great race, buy the perfect gift, get all my homework done a day early, and post my favorite things on instagram dictate whether or not I am productive or successful, you bet I'm going to have an abundance of rough days. Shoot, I struggle to get to bed before midnight as it is. But when I make myself stop, breathe, and rest in the fact that God just wants me to trust Him and work for Him, I don't have to put on a display of my skills, just a display of my spirit. You can't go wrong that way. No one can take it from you, and it is forever protected by the Lord. While a race, hobby, boyfriend, or grade may bring you a reward on earth, a faithful spirit will bring you both joy and purpose on earth as well as eternity. 

 

So take these wonderful opportunities to be a woman in this world and use them for God's glory. Even in uncertainty, we know we have new mercies and new opportunities every day. Take it one day at a time and look for how God is opening doors right in front of you.

 

"The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it to the full." John 10:10




Friday, October 16, 2020

Work, Worry, Rest--Work Hard AND Sleep Well



Desiring God: Good Men Work Hard and Sleep Well

Right now it is hard for even the historically workaholics to keep trudging on. Maybe we do, but the motivation behind it is falling. I'm having times like that for sure. Overwhelmed with school and worried about the uncertainty of each day and the weeks and months ahead compounds becoming weary. This is when I need to stop and reevaluate where my head and heart are.




"Always stand firm; let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

 

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as if working for God, not men." Colossians 3:23

 

When the work seems monotonous, overwhelming, dreadful, think about if it is something you must do or something you make yourself do. If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it. There is a purpose. You are there to do something for Him. You may not be able to see it, but let the promise that your work for Him is never useless be a driving force to carry on. 

 

Maybe you're having hours and hours of zoom meetings. You can shed a positive attitude. 

Discussion boards: maybe throw in a comment about having prayed for something that came to pass, a Bible verse as a reference, telling a classmate you're praying for them, in an "about you" type thing, don't be afraid to say you like to read your Bible--no joke there are actually tons of ways, even in online classes, that opportunities to tell about your faith will come up.  

At the office, post a Bible verse on your door.

Be responsive, respectful and encouraging in emails.

Pray for those around you. This will not only benefit them because God always listens, but it will help your heart get in a better perspective, too.

 

Anytime, smile or wave. Hold a door. Pay it forward. Give a small treat. Talk to the person next to you in line at Starbucks or the grocery store. Maybe you're the only person to contact them today. Pray. Reach out. The little things right now are huge in people's lives that you may never realize.

 

Even if you don't see how your actions matter, God does, and He is able to magnify our efforts into a meaningful big picture.

 

This section really hit me, so I just screenshotted it and...well, read. 

 

"Many of us need to trust God enough to work less."

 

Guilty.

 

I am always going. I've had to learn to stop. I can't do it all. When I try to keep going, I depend on myself more and more and God less and less, then what do you know, I fall apart. When I fail, it is all my fault because, well, I was the only one working. But when we trust in God to guide us to the right things, take care of the things we can't (or maybe can but shouldn't) control, He does amazing things.

 

Example: As I've mentioned, overwhelmed with work. Also tired, mentally and physically. Dedicated to taking naps and daily Bible time. MUCH prayer to "Lord please help me through this" and the like. Still able to run 13 miles at a 7 minute pace and increase my lifts in the weight room (physical) and haven't missed an assignment yet (mental). ---NOT bragging on me, bragging on God. I daily think how I am inadequate and undeserving to be able to keep functioning and relatively succeeding at this, but it is always because somehow God comes through and gives me some extra time or a grade I was not expecting.

 

Trusting Him to take care of the things we can't not only helps us in the day but also in the night, which then turns and helps us in the day. If we are so worried about what we personally can't control or the amount of work ahead, we will lie awake at night thinking about it, worrying, how will I do this, rather than trusting God to do it and go to sleep. Now I know this is much easier said than done. I do it all the time. But one of the best ways to get a better nights' sleep is to pray. If it's in God's hands when we go to sleep, He will still be holding it when we wake up. And He still works while we sleep.





Saturday, October 10, 2020

Work, Worry, Rest--Two We Need in Balance, One We Do Anyways (Intro!)


I started this post as one combining several resources and reflections on some devotions and other posts that had come to me at seemingly the most adequate times, but then they each had so much value, I didn't want people to just skip through it. In the days and weeks to come, I'm going to share a little section of this theme on work, worry, and rest, as it has really convicted yet also comforted me in the midst of this currently crazy world. 

I see so many people struggling and seeming to have no hope or sense of purpose and joy, and that's totally understandable. Even the "best of us" have down days, weeks, seasons. But there is something that differentiates some from others--there IS hope. This hope is in Christ alone, and that's hard for some to understand, but I want to share some of my personal experiences to show others that it is real and possible in daily life, no matter how mundane it may seem. 


As I scrolled way way back in my school email where I send myself links to look at later, I knew there were a lot of devotions and Bible studies in there, so that was how I was choosing what to do each day for a while. I was "randomly" choosing one, but it felt a lot like they were choosing me. 

I've been tired. Mentally and physically. Training was hard there for a bit (not much now since the season is so far away), and school was stressful. I have more than a full load of work right now. All this coronavirus stuff and never knowing the truth or where it is or what people are doing, I was living in anxiety. Anxiety is exhausting. 

But God knows what we each are going through, what we need, and when we need it. Those devotions were saved for a reason. I needed them now more than when I came across them. The tweets that I notice on my feed while I eat dessert aren't just happenstance. The instagram posts? Media has a lot of crazy ways it stalks us to show us what we want or need to see, but God is way better and more powerful than an algorithm!

 

I could go on and on about some of these, but here are some devotions, articles, pictures, and tweets that have really stood out to me lately on the topics of work, worry, and rest.


Here are the links to the devotions I'll be going over for anyone's reference:

Desiring God: For Weary Women in a World of Opportunity

Desiring God: All You Need For Another Year

Desiring God: Lord, Teach Us to Work--Learning from the Labors of Christ

KLove Encouragement: Rhythms for Loving Action

Desiring God: Good Men Work Hard and Sleep Well

To get the ball rolling, here are some other awesome things that I came across during the same time I was studying through these! No pun intended when I said ball, but it happened...

This was a section from the daily New York Times email in their "idea of the day" where they used the NBA as an example of how rest really improves life and performance. This came just a couple days after I had commented to our two coaches about all these pro runners breaking records left and right, and they responded sarcastically, "Yeah, it's like not racing all the time is making their races better! They can actually take time to train and recover..."

In the middle of all the themed things coming to be, coach Andy even sent out an email that was all about sleep.

Simple lesson to learn from our loved and missed sports world: you've got to take time to recover if you want to be at your best.

This is what keeps me going some days! No matter where I am, what I'm doing (or not doing), I have a purpose. I may feel useless and lonely, but I will encounter people that I can impact by the things I have been through and come out of. 

God says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

While the word here is "temptation" I believe it can also be "trials." (Pastor Dean, I need your word-history-knowledge!) Everyone's situation is unique, but we still face similar circumstances as others all across the world. We can relate. Jesus can relate. He faced a huge variety of oppositions, yet He never sinned. We can go to Him, trusting that He understands and holds the plans to bring us through AND use it for something good! 

These days, I know that even if I were to never get to race again, I have more opportunities. I have connections with teammates and encounters with even relative strangers where I can share my story. Helping someone through a challenge by sharing a testimony of how God has helped me is one of the most fulfilling feelings. And you never know how much someone else may truly be struggling on the inside and your words and God's work will touch their hearts and lives. 

Also with my future job, whatever it may be, I will have the chance to help people get stronger mentally, spiritually, and physically, and that keeps me going and searching for ways to use my days.  

Never be afraid to share your story! Embrace the grace that God has given you! Our struggles are not in vain.




Monday, September 14, 2020

Words for the Weary in a Wrecked World

I had the idea for this post a while ago, and I had wanted to add to it while things were fresh on my mind, but a lot of things in life happen, and I never did it, but here I am. I have actually really enjoyed taking a few days of my Bible study time to look back over things that stood out to me over the summer and beginning of school! It is so important to look back on what we learn. I also know that life is difficult, uncertain, and sometimes really discouraging, now maybe more than ever. That's why I want to take some of the things that have spoken to me and helped me through certain times and situations that I hope helps some of you, too.


Whatever your day may look like, take it one day at a time, doing what you can with where you are, but remember that as Christians, we can live with an eternal outlook. And what joy that eternal hope can bring to our daily lives!

"Be patient and stand firm, for the Lord's coming is near." James 5:8

"Continue to work out your salvation...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." Philippians 2:12-16

When days seem like more than you can take...

"We pray this that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father." Colossians 1:10-12

"...do it with the strength God provides so that in all things, God may be praised." 1 Peter 4:11

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." Psalm 51:10, 12

"The God of all grace who called you into eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

"[God's wise words] are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body." Proverbs 4:22

"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my my weaknesses so that's Christ's power may rest on me...when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down by the anxieties of life...be on the watch, pray, and stand." Luke 21:34, 36

"I call on the Lord in my distress, and He answers me." Psalm 120:1



When you need motivation to do the right thing...

God is watching and working, and others see you, too


"Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:21

"Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the race marked out for us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith...consider Him who endured such opposition so that you do not lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3

"Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

"Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." 1 Timothy 4:16

"Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

"Stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

"In your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give a reason for the hope that you have, but do this with gentleness and respect...so that those who speak maliciously about your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil." 1 Peter 3:15-17

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." Philippians 1:27

When you just need a break...

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

"It is in vain that you rise up early and go to rest late, eating the bread of anxious toil, for He gives sleep to those He loves." Psalm 127:2

"Man shall not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4, and "Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me will never go hungry nor be thirsty." John 6:35

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word." Psalm 119:28

"I lie down and sleep in peace, for you along, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." Jeremiah 31:25

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will rise up on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

"You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.' You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint." Isaiah 57:10

When you feel held captive...

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:7

"Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17

When things feel out of your control...

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm, and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you...the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

"All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

"You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled." Joshua 23:14

"For the glory of Your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of Your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress." Psalm 143:11

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

When you feel like people are against you...

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Am I trying to please mean? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

"Men will hate you because of Me, but those who stand firm until the end will be saved." Matthew 10:22

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20:17

"Fight the good fight of the faith." 1 Timothy 6:12

"Be strong in the Lord and His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand your ground against the devil's schemes." {truth, righteousness, readiness from the gospel of peace, shield of faith, salvation, word of God, prayer} Ephesians 6:10-20

When you fear for your future...

"My God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned." Isaiah 43:2

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, for the Lord has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13:5

"[Do not] be arrogant, nor put hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but put their hope in God, who richly provides everything for our enjoyment...do good, be rich in good deeds, be generous and willing to share...take hold of the life that is truly life." 1 Timothy 6:17-19

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food...Who of you by worrying can add a single minute to his life?...your heavenly Father knows you need them...Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:25, 27, 33

"The Lord will keep you from all harm--He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 127:7-8

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7

When you need peace...

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3

"When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' Your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought me joy." Psalm 94:18-19

"I have told you these things that in Me, you should have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"The Lord gives His people strength; the Lord blesses them with peace." Psalm 29:11

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. The peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." {think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, excellent} Philippians 4:6-8

When you need wisdom and guidance...

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, adn it will be given to him. When he asks, he should believe and not doubt..." James 1:5-6

"The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere." James 3:17

"Your word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path." Psalm  119:105

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"If the Lord delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:23





Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Better Late Than Never


Confession: I am not the hard core dedicated student I was in middle and high school. There are times I get excited and really work diligently from my heart, but those times are a lot more rare and shorter lived. It makes me sad and frustrated when I don't have the desire, understanding, or motivation to learn more and make the top grades easily like I used to, but I have to remember that I have been through a lot over the years, and both my heart and mind are not the same. But this is good in ways, too.

That being said, after having the heaviest classload and busiest semester ever--thank goodness it was only half--I came home after having lived on the edge of exhaustion and constant anxiety for months, it was hard to adjust to suddenly being home all the time, no internship running me back and forth between classes and practices, and only a limited number of assignments for other classes to submit online. Then I realized just how dead I was. Sometimes you don't realize what you need til you are kind of forced into it. I needed a break. And I actually took it. Buuutt I probably took way too long.

I had an extra long summer break, as we all did, and I had so many great things I wanted to do. I had the time to do them! So many projects and fun things, studying for the GRE and getting that out of the way, a summer class starting in July.
I slept in, started over training with a new base building cycle after the normal outdoor season would've ended, now it was "real" summer. I spent time walking the dog, riding my bike, went to the gym when it opened, cooked some great meals, read articles and watched videos online that I had saved up for the past year or two (or three), started working for DoorDash and made some good money, but still that was really the only place I went. Mom and I were home all the time like normal summer, Dad was still working the whole time except one week vacation he took off to just be at home with us (we hadn't planned a beach trip anyways). I was relaxing and enjoying myself.

Time flew. "I've been home three months?" I would think to myself in disbelief at how fast it seemed to go, all here at home. I am just good at staying busy yet never feeling like I get things accomplished. There's always more to do.
One of the things I am glad I spent my extra time on was spending extra time with God. I could start a Bible study reading and writing and go for hours and not even know what time it was. I have learned so much, made prayer such a more natural part of my life, I see more things in the simple day to do that are so applicable to what I know about God, developed such a deeper relationship with Him; I have so much peace and contentment in circumstances that the middle-and-high-school (and even earlier in college) me I mentioned earlier would have been literally sick and broken in panic attacks from. I almost laugh at the made-up images I see of "that" me dealing with last year's injury, but even moreso this year's season-ending, leaving-campus-at-moments'-notice of the Coronavirus.


It's such a great and powerful, yet unexplainable feeling that I have through all of this, but that is one way I know it is from God. "The peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Continuing on in this great and wonderful and relaxing summer, oh, the deadline for the GRE is in a few weeks, "I've studied a little, I'll do it next week." I went online to register, and the next open spot for a proctor was THE last day I could do it. That's God's mercy in my procrastination. I still felt unprepared going into it, but my goal was to make a score to get into the grad program. This is another change, mostly good, from grade school me. I do not have to be the best at everything, especially if it doesn't matter! All that matters is that I get a score good enough to get in, then nobody will ever care again. Even better, after taking the exam, I am glad I didn't waste time studying, because the material was not like what I had practiced at all, and I would've done probably just the same without studying. And I will never use that stuff again in my life. And I got the needed score. What I did learn from taking the GRE is that I will not take a job where I have to sit for hours in a cold room. Yes, this was my own basement, but I do not ever sit anywhere, especially cold places, for hours uncomfortably staring. I felt like a literal brick when I got up, a frozen brick.
About the summer class: it started the week before this, and I was really enjoying it. Sport Law and Ethics had a lot of information that I could relate to situations I have been in and/or have seen in the sporting world, as well as things I can apply to my future job, whatever that ends up being. I was pretty motivated for this one and on top of it!

Until the MBA program processed my GRE scores, reviewed my transcripts, and "Oh, you weren't a business major or minor with xyz classes; we need you to do these background module classes before you can register for the semester for anything with a prerequisite." Side note, you don't choose your classes in grad school; they do it for you. So long story short, it was so much to do in such a short amount of time, I was basically told that I wouldn't be able to complete it and maybe just take the year off and start next year. NO. CAN'T. I'm on scholarship, and I have to be enrolled. So here goes my summer's end.

Three classes, started July 23rd, first due July 30th. We are stopping there because my motto of "One day at a time" lives on. I went through some late nights, sleepless nights, days with no breaks except to run, prehab, eat, super-fast shower, and eventually go to bed, lots of praying. I've never done anything in accounting, so that was a challenge. It was due 8 a.m., and I finished it with a high passing grade the night before (morning of?) the due date at 1 a.m. Praise. The. Lord.

So what's better late than never?
All the things I have learned, been convicted of, changes I have wanted to make, finally doing some. God was with me through the easy days, too, but now was the test. Do what you have to do.

All of this, all my failures, repeatedly, make me so mad at myself for not being able to change, but I know this is because I can't on my own. God gives each person their own battles, but we don't have to hide them and be ashamed of them. Paul, one of the greatest examples of men we look to for his Biblical writings and guidance, said in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "BUT He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." It is so freeing to know that though we fail, we can use even those for God's glory. Yet, Romans 6:1-2 reminds us, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!" More conviction later in James 4:17 says that it is not only what we do that can be sin, but what we don't do: "Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 5:16 on the same page also says to "Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

I'm guilty. I need God's grace every day to work toward my habitual sins, and I need his power to help me overcome them yet also use them as tools to help others through their battles. I need others to pray for me in ways that I can't think of for myself. We all do. 

So after some breakdowns, praying for God to help me through this pressure like I have never been under before, keeping faith on the promises that He is with me, has a plan, will help me, and even if I don't understand, no matter what the outcome of my exam, He is good, I made it. But now there's more. However, I am more prepared and confident. I have to watch that I do not get lazy again, though, but a break was necessary. I took a couple nice, long naps since that exam.

Next was to read the next 4 chapters of Sport Law and Ethics, write two reflections, and take an exam. Undergrad done.

Straight into more MBA, this time Economics. One week. Let's go! I feel like I have learned a lot through this last struggle through seemingly impossible odds, but like I sang on the morning of both my exam and the hardest of summer workouts, "Right now I'm staring down a giant...I still believe, there's no heart You can't rescue, no war You can't win. No story so over it can't start again. No pain You won't use, no wall You won't break through. It might be too much for me but, there is no impossible with You."


I was afraid for a while the world was ending and most of this stuff wouldn't matter anyways, but God-willing, I will have some more years to make my life impactful for the sake of the world. We have to find balance between preparing for the future and living in the moment, working for a brighter tomorrow but also seeing the brightness in front of us today. This is another limitation of being human; we don't know the future or how long it may last, but we can know that God is with us, working for us, and will always come through. BUT we have to do our part.

None of this is to say "Look at what I did," but to say, "Look what dumb things I did but God gave me mercy because I do not deserve this life I have, yet He wakes me up with new hope each day."

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